Cheryl L. Hepfer

Family Law

Deciding Whether to Have a Prenup?

Deciding whether to have a prenuptial agreement, often referred to as a "prenup," is a personal choice that should be made after careful consideration. While prenups are not necessary for every couple, there are several reasons why you might want to consider having one: Protection of Assets: Prenups can be a valuable tool for protecting your individual assets acquired before the marriage. This is particularly relevant if you have significant assets, such as property, investments, or a family business, that you want to safeguard in case of divorce. Clarification of Financial Rights and Responsibilities: A prenup allows you and your partner to outline each other's financial rights and responsibilities during the marriage, including how you will handle income, expenses, and debt. It can provide clarity and prevent misunderstandings about financial matters. Alimony and Spousal Support: Prenuptial agreements can specify the terms and conditions for alimony or spousal support in the event of a divorce. This can help avoid contentious disputes over financial support in the future. Protection for Heirs: If you have children from a previous relationship or plan to inherit significant assets, a prenup may ensure that your children's inheritance rights are protected, even if you divorce or pass away. Debt Protection: A prenup can define how pre-existing debts will be handled during the marriage and in the event of a divorce, preventing one spouse from being held responsible for the other's debts. Business Interests: If you own or plan to start a business, a prenup can outline how business assets and interests will be divided or protected in the event of divorce, ensuring the continuity of your business endeavors. Avoiding Lengthy and Costly Legal Battles: Divorce proceedings can be emotionally draining and expensive. A well-crafted prenuptial agreement can streamline the divorce process by clearly defining property division and financial matters, potentially reducing the time and money spent on legal battles. Preservation of Privacy: Divorce proceedings are often public, but prenuptial agreements can help keep sensitive financial details and personal matters private. This can be especially important for public figures or individuals who value their privacy. Open Communication: The process of creating a prenuptial agreement requires open and honest discussions about financial matters and expectations. This can promote healthy communication and a better understanding of each other's financial goals and values. It's important to note that prenuptial agreements are not solely about planning for divorce; they can also serve as a financial planning tool for the duration of your marriage. However, for a prenup to be legally enforceable, it must meet certain legal requirements, such as full financial disclosure, fairness, and voluntary agreement. Before deciding to have a prenup, it's advisable to consult with legal professionals who specialize in family law to ensure that your agreement is legally valid and tailored to your specific circumstances. Ultimately, the decision to have a prenuptial agreement should be made together with your partner, with open communication and mutual understanding as key principles in the process.

October 11, 2023

Family Law

Divorce: It’s Not About Winning or Losing - It’s About How You Play The Game

Originally posted 3/4/2020, no content changes. Legendary football coach Vince Lombardi once said, “Winning isn’t everything...it’s the only thing.”Well when it pertained to his beloved Green Bay Packers, this hall-of-famer might’ve been right. However, when it comes to divorce, what’s more important is “how you play the game.” Getting what you want out of a divorce comes down to not trying to pulverize your opponent (ex-spouse) on every play or argue with the referees (judge/mediator) on every call. It’s about playing smart and managing expectations. Here are some “coaching tips” that should prove helpful. Never expect a complete victory. Divorce law is set up to prevent a final score where there’s a winner and a loser. But yet that’s often easier said than done. That’s because you still feel entitled to everything, considering what your spouse has put you through. You’re 100% certain nobody could ever be so cruel, as much of a deadbeat, as unloving as a potted plant... Well, I can pretty much guarantee you, your judge has heard it all before in hundreds, if not thousands, of other cases. So don’t take it personally when the judge doesn’t admonish your spouse in front of you, or share in your heartache. That’s not their role. You need to realize that divorce cases are first and foremost, fact-intensive. They’re about conflict resolution not about your personal revenge. The court’s there to get you and your spouse separated, your assets allocated, debts squared away and your future support put in place. Most likely your court will go for a 50/50 split as often as possible with both you and your spouse left on equal footing at the end. And if you have children, the court will determine how custody is going to work...in your kids’ best interest and not yours. And while emotional support is crucial for you throughout the process, as Dionne Warwick sang so beautifully, “That’s what friends are for.” Then there’s the notion that you know what you should be awarded because you know of a case where a friend of a friend got everything he or she desired. Well, all cases are different, all lawyers and judges are different in how they present and interpret the law and each partner brings their own backstory to the proceedings.  So while on the surface your case may look similar, appearances can be very deceiving. Also never expect a quick and easy resolution. Vince Lombardi knew a football game was won in the trenches, and usually in the fourth quarter. Very few divorces are cut and dry. There’s usually a lot of material for your attorney to get through and plenty of details you couldn’t have anticipated. Perhaps you and your spouse did “talk things out” but once a settlement proposal is drawn up, these issues look very different when they’re in black and white and in a legal document. And know that while you may have a “due date” when you want your divorce to be final, you’ll need to be flexible. Nearly every jurisdiction in the U.S. has a different waiting period, from thirty days to six months and beyond if children are involved. Divorce isn’t about control as much as it is about compromise. So while starting divorce proceedings can feel like you’re suddenly on an unfamiliar and scary playing field, speaking to a family attorney, like Sandy and Cheryl, will make it feel like your end zone is in sight and not twenty miles away in the distance.

October 10, 2023

Family Law

Whose Case Is It Anyway? – The Risk Of Hiring An Overly Aggressive Divorce Attorney

“Go for the jugular.” “Show no mercy!” “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” Face it, divorce often doesn’t bring out the best in people…and this need for vengeance can cloud a client’s point of view when it comes time to hire an attorney. No client wants a wallflower representing them and there is nothing wrong with an aggressive attorney to work on your behalf. But if you hire a rabid out of control pit bill as your lawyer, someone who tells you they’re out for blood at any cost from the get-go, well that could come back to bite you on the you-know-where. So is there a middle ground where your attorney is “in it to win it” but not to the point where events could spiral out of control to your detriment? Yes, and the first big step is to not make an emotional decision on representation. Often clients come into an initial meeting so riled up, they let their anger get the best of them and some attorneys will seize on this to snag a client, feeding into what a client wants to hear. Instead, try to be rational. Understand that the merits of your case are based on facts and not emotions when you go in front of a judge or mediator. Make sure your attorney wants to take a deep dive into the facts of your case and that’s their sole focus in representing you. Have them come up with an aggressive way to get you a fair but also realistic settlement based on the facts of your case, not what you “feel” you’re entitled to.  Also don’t be afraid to discuss your budget and the firm’s costs upfront, so that their strategy works within the confines of what you can afford to pay. And never buy these four words: “don’t worry about it.” Also be wary of an overly aggressive attorney who boasts about wasting the court’s time and the other side’s money in order to get you the biggest and best settlement possible. If they say they’ll “bully” your spouse’s lawyer into submission, think carefully about that as well. Your spouse most likely will have a lawyer who won’t back down to intimidation and this face-off of egos could lead to lengthy delays in the process, costing you valuable time and a considerable amount of money. Once the process begins, stay in communication with your attorney and make sure that you never feel marginalized. You do need to let your attorney do their job, however, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to feel like you’re being left in the dark or that they’re involved in tactics you don’t approve of. The last thing you want is to be a party to an attorney who gets held in contempt of court because you had no idea of what they were doing “on your behalf.” And if you ever feel your attorney is only paying you lip service on any issue, it may be time to kiss them goodbye at any point in the process, because from beginning to end this should always be about working together. The stakes are just too high for you not to be involved and to make sure your hard-working attorney is a good reflection on who you are. Experienced Offit-Kurman family attorneys Sandra Brooks (a member of The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers) and Cheryl Hepfer (listed in Best Lawyers in America) will be upfront with you at the beginning and beside you at the middle and at the end of your case. With constant communication, you can feel certain Sandra and Cheryl will never put your case in jeopardy or put their needs in front of yours.

September 15, 2023

Family Law

Skin-to-Skin Contact Recap

If there’s one worry every new parent shares, that worry might be sleep—or, rather, the lack of it. When the disturbances are unpredictable, the needs incommunicable, and the stress overwhelming, a baby’s crying drowns out everything else. Forget work, chores, quality time, or your own sleep schedule. Getting your baby to doze off can become a full-time job unto itself. Fortunately for anyone toiling away right now, one of the simplest sleep-inducing solutions is also one of the most effective. Plus, it’s an excellent bonding ritual with benefits for both the baby and parent. David G. Allan, editorial director of CNN Health, Wellness and Parenting, calls it the “100 strokes” method: count to 100 through “slow back-and-forth sways” while holding your baby close, or through “100 calm and steady rubs” of the baby’s back. According to Allan, the method not only frequently puts babies to sleep (well before 100), but also has a calming effect on the parent. He writes: “The number 100 became like breaths in meditation; I couldn’t hold complex thoughts on top of counting, so deeper emotions surfaced, specifically love and appreciation for the small person I was holding and touching. I was less likely to get pulled away by superfluous streams of thought and soon began to deeply enjoy these moments of seemingly forced mindful parenting.” When Allan dug deeper, he found out that science supports this method as well. Physical touch between baby and parent encourages the release of chemicals associated with happiness and relief: oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine. This can confer all sorts of positive health outcomes: “In one study, daily massage therapy was associated with a 47% weight gain in preterm infants. In another, researchers measured the stress response in the brain when subjects anticipated an electric shock and how that response was tempered if their arm was being stroked by a loved one. There’s even some evidence that touch may reduce anxiety and depression among Alzheimer’s patients. By holding and rubbing our children, we are conveying safety and trust, relieving stress and activating our bodies’ vagus nerves, triggering a compassion response. This is what actual bonding with your child looks like.” Read “Give me some skin: A nighttime ritual to bond parent and child.” A lawyer probably can’t help you calm your baby, but if you’re losing sleep over a legal issue, the attorneys of Offit Kurman’s Family Law Practice Group can help. To learn more about our team the services we provide, click here.

September 14, 2023

Family Law

GPS Surveillance Data in Civil Cases

They show us where we are, get us where we need to go, and prevent us from losing our way. It is hard to imagine modern life without Global Positioning System (GPS) devices. Indeed, many people not only have navigational systems installed in their cars but carry GPS around all day within their phones. As helpful and ubiquitous as the technology is, however, GPS raises complex uncertainties around privacy. Should GPS providers such as Apple and Google be allowed to retain user location data? If so, what kinds of data, and for how long? Can companies share that information? What about law enforcement—can agencies use GPS to track their suspects? Then there are concerns about individuals involved in separations, divorces, and other family law disputes. For instance: What rights does someone have to defend themselves against an ex-spouse using GPS to spy on their movements? Is information that device collects admissible in court? These were precisely the questions facing the United States Supreme Court in United States v. Jones, 565 U.S. 400 (2012), and Carpenter v. United States, 138 S. Ct. 2206 (2018). In the first case, the Supreme Court ruled that a GPS tracing device counts as a “search” under the Fourth Amendment, meaning that data must be collected under a search warrant to be admissible. In the second case, the Supreme Court clarified that the same rules apply to not just GPS data, but all phone data. To learn more, read “Admissibility of GPS Surveillance Data in Civil Cases” at the National Legal Research Group’s Family Law Research Blog. With the emergence of any new technology come new developments in all corners of the law. Family law is no exception. To stay ahead of any legal updates that may affect you and your family, be sure to subscribe to the Offit Kurman blog.

September 7, 2023

Family Law

Hotel Travel Tips

Have you ever wondered how you might be able to make the hotel experience more pleasant? Here are some things you may not have thought about. Some hotels send out pre-registration emails, asking for your preference as to pillows and the like. If given that opportunity, respond to the options they make available and others. They may or may not honor them, but it’s worth the effort. You may want to call your hotel to ask about some options that most do not take advantage of. If you want to be close to the elevator, have extra towels in your room, and perhaps even have an early check-in, this is the time to do it. The hotel may have more flexibility to honor your requests before you arrive. The one person who rarely gets a tip is the one checking you in. Interestingly, if you slide a $20 bill to them when you first arrive, you may receive a better room. If you’re staying a week, $20 is a small expense but may be a great incentive for some special treatment. Ask about a concierge floor. It may not be much of an additional expense, and the concierge floor often offers breakfast, afternoon snacks and evening desserts. Tip your maid every morning. If you have to turn down service in the late afternoon, leave a few dollars. The maids can take special care of you, leaving you extra water or shampoo, for example. If you wait to leave the tip until the day you leave, you have missed an opportunity. To avoid confusion, leave the tip on the pillow on a turned-down bed. That way, the maid knows it is there to take. Ask for your bill the night before you check out, so that you have an opportunity to review all of the charges before you are in a rush on the way out the door. Ask for a delayed checkout if that will help you. Generally, if you ask early enough in your stay, you can get a few more hours before you have to leave your room. If you have a late departure for the airport, schedule a spa day at your hotel or the best hotel in the city in advance and spend the afternoon at the spa. If you book just one session, you can spend the entire day in the sauna or steam room. Check carefully before you leave your room. It’s not a bad idea to have a written checklist that you keep in your suitcase so that you remember to check the outlets and the refrigerator before you leave. Ask for bottled water when you check in, when you leave the hotel, when you’re in the gym, and when you check out. Most hotels provide bottled water upon request.

September 5, 2023

Family Law

Getting Divorced? Get Ready for Your New Financial Reality

Hardly anyone has walked away from divorce financially better off than they were before. Contrary to popular belief, people almost never marry intending to split up and lay claim to their spouse’s money. Rather, after a long period of conflict, divorce becomes the only option—and both parties typically find themselves unprepared for their new financial realities. For the individual supporting their ex-spouse, divorce creates obvious monetary burdens. It means bearing a portion of another person’s living costs as well as one’s own—two sets of car payments, food costs, rent or mortgage payments, and so forth. If you’re the higher earner, the good news is that you won’t need to handle these expenses completely or manage them directly. As long as you make your spousal support (and, if applicable, child support) payments on time, all you need to do is worry about your own finances. It’s up to your spouse to figure out the rest for themselves. In fact, lower earners are the ones who often face more difficult obstacles after a divorce. They frequently discover that spousal support alone isn’t sufficient for meeting their financial obligations. They may need to sell property, take a second (or third) job, significantly downsize their lives, or all of the above. It’s worth noting that lower earners are usually women. In the majority of heterosexual marriages, husbands still earn more money than their wives. At the same time, because they’re most likely to get primary custody of the children, women may have greater household expenses—and less freedom to advance their careers—than their male ex-spouses. These unfortunate realities should prompt any woman considering a divorce to carefully plan ahead, determine financial details in advance, and be ready for the unexpected. Regardless of your financial position or the particulars of your marriage, don’t let the impact of a divorce catch you off-guard. Create a budget, set aside enough money for emergencies and unanticipated costs, and consider every possible savings opportunity. Be sure to speak with a trusted legal advisor—your family law attorney can help you control your expenses and protect your assets. Your bank account may take a major hit in the immediate aftermath of the divorce, but the better prepared you are, the sooner you can start building your new life.

August 18, 2023

Family Law

I did not want to get too much “in the weeds…”

I did not want to get too much “in the weeds…” As of July 1st, Maryland became the 21st state where recreational cannabis sales are legal. Anyone over 21 can purchase dried flower, pre-rolled joints, and vape cartridges containing THC and edibles. All it takes is a government-issued ID and a trip to a licensed dispensary. There are about 100 dispensaries across the state open for recreational sales. More are coming. Authorities are a bit concerned about safety on the road, and police have been trained to determine if a driver is under the influence of marijuana. And remember that Federal rules still apply! While marijuana has been a factor in family law cases for decades, the legalization in states like Maryland will take away a parent’s argument that the using parent is criminal. However, the courts may still consider a parent’s use and possession of marijuana in custody cases. This would be similar to the court’s consideration of a parent’s use of alcohol. The court may look at things like the purpose a parent is using marijuana, the amount the parent is using, and the impact of the parent’s use on the children.

July 10, 2023

So, you’re thinking about a Prenup Agreement

More and more couples and considering entering into a prenuptial agreement before marriage. It’s often concerning that even the mention of exploring an agreement would be detrimental to the relationship. The parties are basically negotiating what would happen should there be a divorce, which can cause a great deal of stress, especially if the discussions are near the wedding date. The divorce rate is generally understood to be 50%, no matter where the parties live, or what their social or economic status may be. A prenuptial agreement is a written agreement where an engaged couple considers what would happen upon separation or divorce, which may happen, if it does, at any time during the marriage. The uncertainty of when a separation may take place creates a great deal of anxiety. What if the parties separated in a few years, vis-a-vis after many years, and potentially when the parties have children? Experts suggest that since finances often contribute to conflict in marriages and may often be the reason for separation and divorce, discussing the financial aspects of an agreement may be helpful in that it may promote a foundation for a better relationship. Here are crucial requirements: Give a great deal of thought to what your goals are and what you want to accomplish in the event of separation, divorce or death. Both parties must be represented. There must be full and complete disclosure of assets and debts at the time the Agreement is executed. It must be agreed upon by both parties, and discussions should begin at least six months prior to the marriage to assure that each party is not under any duress. It must be realistic and equitable.

March 14, 2023

Family Law

DIY Divorces Recap

There’s a lot to be said for embracing a do-it-yourself (DIY) ethos. DIYers develop useful skills, sometimes discover new hobbies, and often save a great deal of money. But while plenty of DIY projects can reduce upfront costs and bring personal fulfillment, there are some things you should never, ever do yourself. Giving your house a fresh coat of paint? Go for it! Brewing beer in your garage? Sure—why not? Handling your own divorce proceedings? Not a great idea. Looking to handle a divorce or another family legal matter in the best way possible? Don’t rely on a simple document retrieval service. Offit Kurman’s Family Law attorneys are dedicated to resolving conflicts and protecting your and your family’s interests in a fast, straightforward, and cost-effective manner. See for yourself what we can do for you.

February 13, 2023

Family Law

What is Dissipation and How Does the Court Handle It?

Under Maryland Law, and in most jurisdictions, dissipation is the expenditure of marital assets for the principal purpose of reducing the funds available for equitable distribution. It usually occurs when one spouse uses marital property for their own benefit for a purpose unrelated to the marriage at a time when the marriage is undergoing an "irreconcilable breakdown."' The Courts generally do not find dissipation when marital funds are used to pay attorneys' fees. Usually, dissipation is found when one party uses marital funds for things like: a prostitute, gifts for a paramour, or extravagance far more than what would be normal family expenses. The burden of proof in most jurisdictions, both expenditures themselves, as well as the persuasion that the funds were used in a manner that deprived the other spouse in such a way that the court may make that determination, lies with the party making the allegation of dissipation. Generally, the court has great discretion in making that determination.

January 13, 2023

Family Law

Can My Spouse Take My Business?

The law may differ slightly from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Generally, businesses started during the marriage will be determined to be marital property to be divided upon divorce. If the business is a partnership or a corporation, ownership by title will be determined. Suppose a spouse owns 100% of the business because of the stock ownership or the partnership interest or because of other evidence of ownership. In that case, the Court will generally require that the business be valued, and then a determination will be made as to whether the spouse who does not have an interest in the business will receive a buyout or an offset from other assets. Business valuations are performed by experts. Often the parties will agree to use one business valuation expert as a neutral. However, in the spouses cannot agree on one valuation expert, there may be substantial variance in the opinions of the experts representing the interest of the parties. Those situations require the assistance of an attorney who has specific knowledge regarding business valuations and who has the ability to work with experts in the field. Often there is a determination of personal goodwill. In those cases, an expert may opine that the value of the business is, in whole or in part, attributable to the owner of the business. In that case, the personal goodwill will not be divided upon divorce. This determination can be hotly contested in a divorce situation. If the spouses each own an interest in a business, it is often partitioned in some way by a transfer of ownership between the spouses, with an offset for other assets or a buyout. When dealing with businesses that began prior to the marriage, the entire business is not necessarily marital. Once again, a business valuation may be hired to determine the value of the business at the time of the marriage and the current value of the business. The spouse who does not own an interest in the business may argue that the increase in value is marital and should be divided equitably or equally between the parties, depending upon the applicable statutes and case law.

October 28, 2022

Family Law

Separation? Where Do I Start?

If you are contemplating a separation, or if you believe that your spouse is, where do you begin? Collect and preserve financial information. This will include tax returns and information regarding income and expenses, such as check registers, checking account statements and credit card statements. You will also want information regarding assets and liabilities. If you have done a loan application for a mortgage or refinance, that will be a very helpful summary. You also want to secure information regarding 401K’s, retirement and investment accounts and the like. If there is a business involved, any documentation regarding the business would be an integral part of the information you will need. Information regarding real estate. HUD-1 forms from the purchase and sale of real estate are essential for tracing. If any assets were acquired using non-marital funds by either party, that information should be provided to your attorney. Non-marital asset tracing would include funds or assets owned by either party prior to the marriage, gifts from a third party, inheritances or anything traced to those funds. Consider available funds. You will need funds to retain counsel and experts and enough funds to pay ongoing bills for at least a short period of time. Familiarize yourself with bank accounts and investment accounts that would be accessible to acquire a new place to live and other expenses for at least a few months’ time. Consider options for living arrangements. Although you do not want to move before consulting with an attorney and considering all of your options, it will be beneficial for you to know whether you can afford to remain in your current home if that’s an option. And, if you must move, what kind of residence would be appropriate for you (and for your children)? Consult with a divorce attorney. Seek referrals from trusted friends who have had divorce experiences, estate and trust lawyers, accountants, therapists, and others who can give you names of competent attorneys. You may want to consult with more than one before making the decision as to who should represent you. Always consider peer evaluations, such as Super Lawyers, Best Lawyers, and, of course, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML). Membership in the AAML is an organization of the top divorce lawyers in the country. Both Cheryl Hepfer and Sandy Brooks are Fellows of the AAML. Make your children your primary concern. For any parent contemplating separation and divorce, the best interest of their children is of great concern. An experienced divorce attorney can give you advice regarding the process options for you to consider and can provide information that will make this less frightening.

August 24, 2022

Family Law

Alternatives To Court

Litigation can be scary and expensive, emotionally as well as financially. But you do not necessarily have to go to Court to resolve issues in a divorce. The first step in determining how best to proceed is to discuss your options with experienced counsel who specialize in family law. Family law is a unique area of the law, and only those lawyers with experience have the level of knowledge and sophistication to evaluate your options with you. Often, cases can be resolved by negotiation through counsel. But there are other options available, and since divorce can be complex and complicated, one should consider all of them. Mediation is often used in family law, even if the parties are already engaged in litigation. Trained mediators facilitate agreements. They do not impose their position on either of the parties. Rather, a good mediator will challenge both parties not to expect their “best day in Court.” Reality often sets in, and parties recognize the pros and cons of their positions. Mediation often leads to an agreement, which can be incorporated into a Judgment of Divorce. Many attorneys who specialize in family law are now trained to handle cases in a collaborative process. This process permits the parties to evaluate their goals and explore options in a joint meeting setting. Another option is arbitration, where an arbitrator more or less substitutes for a Judge. However, unlike in a Court situation, the parties are able to select their arbitrator, determine what issues will be presented, set time limits, and control the amount of evidence that must be formally presented. In addition, there is some degree of privacy that is not typical in divorce situations.

July 15, 2022

Family Law

Traveling with Toddlers on Planes

Here are nine tips for traveling with Toddlers in today’s world: Be prepared for dirty objects that find their way to your toddler. Bring along plenty of sanitizing wipes and keep them within easy reach. Pack at least two extra outfits as, sometimes, one is just not enough. Ask every flight attendant and gate agent you see if the flight is full. If not, ask if they can move people around so that your family gets a coveted free middle seat. Always carry a small medical kit with you – should include travel-size essentials – Band-Aids, Neosporin, Tylenol, Benadryl, and keep it in your carry-on for easy access. There may be some in the plane’s medical kit, but who knows for sure! Take loads of snacks in small containers or ziplock bags. Choose a variety to keep the little one satisfied – fruit, vegetables, pouches, biscuits, crackers, cheese nibbles, etc. There may be delays, and the stuff you can buy at the airport is expensive! Take a large scarf that you can wrap around the little one. Sometimes feeling snug as a bug helps them unwind and relax. Changes in air pressure can be very difficult for little ones, so take pacifiers and empty bottles that you can refill with water or juice supplied by the airlines to help them a bit. Stretch your legs and walk up and down the aisle. It really helps change the scenery for the little ones, and you may actually get some smiles and fist-bumps from adult passengers on the aisle. If you are traveling with another adult, send them on first to get some overhead compartment space for your carry-on, and then wait until the last minute to board with your child. It may seem insignificant, but those extra 10 minutes before boarding are treasured moments.

May 18, 2022

Family Law

How to Manage the Expense of a Family Law Case

It is a concern that every client has, but few are willing to discuss with their counsel. So, what are some tips to keeping your fees as low as possible? You can control some of the expenses, but not all of them. What you cannot control is the reasonableness of your spouse or the other attorney. But what you can control may make a significant difference in the expenses associated with your case. Be aware of the fact that divorce cases require disclosure regarding income, expenses, assets and liabilities. The more documents you can locate and provide to your attorney in an organized manner, the better. Generally, we are seeking three years’ worth of records, including tax returns, credit card statements, etc. But it’s also helpful to provide information regarding how and when the assets were acquired. We normally recommend that our clients prepare a chronology of important events, so that we can refer to that document in the future if needed, and we will then be able to fill in some of the blanks that may arise in the future. Because tracing of non-marital funds may be a significant part of a case, documents that trace funds that are premarital, inherited, or gifts from a third party will make a huge difference in educating your attorney in a coherent and organized way. You may not know the value of all of your assets, but you can do some research that will help get the value in the ballpark. Be responsive to requests from your lawyer for documents and information. If your lawyer is looking for the information, it’s because there is a need for it. The sooner you can provide the information, the better. Be aware of the fact that most attorneys rely upon a team, that often includes a paralegal, an administrative assistant and associates. That is often to your benefit, as their hourly rates are generally lower than that of the lead attorney. Show them respect and respond to them just as you would your lead attorney. Listen to your attorney’s recommendations. It’s your case, but there may be opportunities for compromise and settlement that occur early on or later in the case. If you delay considering a resolution until the day before trial, you have incurred substantial fees and costs associated with litigation. Rely upon your lawyer’s advice. That’s why we are often called “counselors.”

November 18, 2021

Family Law

What’s the Deal with Adultery in Maryland?

Adultery is a misdemeanor in Maryland, punishable by a $10 fine. It’s doubtful that a prosecutor would ever prosecute that crime, but it may have a consequence in a divorce case. So what’s the big deal? There are two areas where an allegation of adultery has a role in the family law arena. First of all, there are the emotional or psychological considerations. The one who has committed adultery may be embarrassed and may not want those allegations to appear in a pleading that is filed in Court. These pleadings are public record, and, even if no one in the press is interested, children, grandchildren, friends and neighbors may, at some time in the future, access those pleadings. The “innocent” spouse may believe that he/she has a “leg up,” and use the possibility of relying upon those formal allegations in negotiations. The allegation of adultery, however, does not have the same stigma that it did when I began practicing law, many years ago. The “legal” consequences of an allegation of adultery is that, should the case be litigated, the Court is to consider fault as one factor of many in determining both an award of alimony and a division of the marital property. Generally adultery that occurs subsequent to a separation, but while the parties are still legally married, is not nearly as concerning as an adulterous relationship that caused or contributed to the separation. Since even if proven to be true, the allegation of fault is only one of many factors to be considered. And, since that Court has great discretion in making those decisions, the impact of the fault grounds can be significant or minimal. There’s a risk, and that’s the concern/consequence that the parties and their counsel must consider.

September 22, 2021

Family Law

So, What About Your Personal Property - Is It Yours?

Anything that you owned prior to your marriage, that you received through inheritance, or that was a gift to you (not to both of you) during the marriage, is not marital property. It’s yours. You can keep it upon divorce, and you do not need to offset the value of those items with anything that is marital. Usually, the engagement ring, since it’s given prior to the marriage, is not marital property. However, jewelry that was purchased during the marriage, even if it was a “gift” to one party from the other, remains marital, and will be divided, or it’s value will be offset upon divorce. Although that’s the law, to be frank, very few folks fight over marital property. It is expensive to do that, both financially and emotionally. Usually there is some agreement regarding furniture, home furnishings, artwork, etc. When the parties cannot agree, there are some options for resolution. Some of the options that have worked for our clients are: flipping a coin, and the winner gets first choice, then alternating until all of the marital property on the list is divided. Another option is that one party prepares two separate lists that “equitably” divide the property, and the other party gets to choose which of the lists is his/her property. Often, the parties attempt mediation, with the understanding that if they are not able to arrive at an agreement after a certain amount of time, the mediator makes the decision, as an arbitrator, and that decision is binding on the parties. Even when the division of the property that has value has been determined, there usually remains the issue of photographs, videos, movies of the family, etc. Fortunately, almost everything can now be reproduced, so that each of the parties can retain those very important memories. The issue of the cost of reproduction must be addressed. Because it can become very expensive, the parties often agree to share most of the items, rather than reproducing everything. Again, the options, should the parties not be able to agree, may be to resort to the flipping of the coin. Because physical ownership often determines control, one should either consider removing items that have great sentimental value from the marital home that one would be devastated to lose, or take photos or a video of everything in the house, so that a list can later be made that will include all of the marital personal property. In some cases, a personal property appraiser is required to assess the value of the assets. This is especially true in the case of artwork and antiques. Best advice is to keep a record of all significant items, not only in case of separation and divorce, but also in case of loss due to fire or theft.

August 18, 2021

Family Law

Should You Consider a Collaborative Divorce?

A collaborative divorce—or the legal process in which a couple enters a formal agreement to work together, out of court, to settle the terms of a divorce—can be an excellent choice for spouses who are on good enough terms with one another to be able to hash out a compromise. This process usually involves a combination of mediation and negotiation to reach an agreement. One must retain attorneys who are collaboratively trained. Courts in every state encourage couples to opt for collaborative divorce, or a similar process, whenever possible. Even when litigation is filed, most Courts require some type of mediation before a trial date can be set. If an agreement can be reached on some or all of the issues, the divorce process is generally less painful for everyone involved. In every collaborative divorce is a collaborative agreement; one of the fundamentals of this agreement is that, if the collaborative process is not successful and the parties elect to proceed with litigation, the parties are not able to continue on with the representation of their chosen collaborative counsel. This requirement is an incentive for the parties to work harder during the collaborative process, as starting over with new counsel can be both expensive and emotionally taxing. As a result, some are willing to proceed with a similar process, called an informal settlement. The informal settlement does not require a change of counsel if the collaborative process is not productive. While this is not a true collaborative process, it can proceed in a similar manner. In either event, experienced collaborative attorneys have the skills to assist the parties in creating a “win-win” situation that may allow areas of agreement that are not available in the litigation process. Generally, in a collaborative divorce, a financial neutral is incorporated into the team from the start. This mechanism provides both parties with knowledge that an independent expert is gathering the data, reviewing it and preparing it in a way that will be easily understood by all parties. The basis for trust is significantly increased when a financial neutral is involved, and that factor alone significantly impacts the probability of successful resolution. Often a coach is also a part of the team, as emotions can run high, and having someone involved who has the skills to help de-escalate the situation and assist the parties in articulating their goals and concerns in a non-threatening way can be invaluable. A collaborative divorce is just one of many options for a process that may lead to a resolution without the necessity of litigation. In almost every case, there is mediation, negotiation, and, in recent years, arbitration, which will assist those going through the divorce process in arriving at a resolution without the financial and emotional expense of a trial.

July 12, 2021

Family Law

Flying This Summer?

Nonetheless, we want to be cautious and take precautions from the time you enter the airport until you depart the airport at the end of your journey. One easy step is to register for TSA Precheck, which allows passengers to bypass crowded security lines, saving time and reducing the number of contacts. Secure your boarding passes online before arriving at the airport, which also minimizes the number of contacts you will have with airport employees. You don’t have the same level of good air filtration and airflow in the airports as you do in the planes, so you want to minimize the amount of time you spend in the airport. A carry-on bag minimizes the time spent in crowded baggage areas at both the beginning and end of your flight. Make sure that your carry-on is small enough to fit in the overhead compartment. If it isn’t, you may be able to check it at the gate. Although you will still have to deal with the baggage claim area upon your arrival, you can avoid dealing with that issue at the departure airport. If your flight is long, or if you have a layover, you should consider packing your own lunch and a snack. Many airport restaurants are not operating at capacity and packing your own food will minimize your contact with other passengers and employees as you stand in line to order. Collapsible storage containers are perfect for keeping food fresh, if you are not inclined to use plastic sandwich bags. Masks are still required on all airlines. You should bring four or five masks and change them out every three to four hours. It’s best to double mask or use an N-95 or KN-95 mask to assure maximum protection. Find one that fits comfortably, because you will be using it for multiple hours at at time. It’s also important that you wash your hands a lot when you can’t, use sanitizer. And, if you can, find one that contains a moisturizer since skin dries out in airplanes. Look for one that has at least 60% alcohol. Stay in your seat as much as you can to avoid contact with others on the plane. Although airlines report that they clean the plane between flights, it’s a good idea to wipe down the armrest, tray table, seat belt and general seat area when you first board the plane. Alcohol wipes are good for this, so put a few in a zip lock bag, so that you can easily access them and then dispose of the ones that you have already used. Check the labels to find those that kill 99.9% of the viruses. Public charging states make you more vulnerable to hacking and malware, and also require that you stand or sit close to other passengers, so bring along a portable charging device when you travel to assure that you will not run out of power for your phone, iPad or computer. If you travel frequently, consider investing in a charger that has a capacity of at least 10,000mAh. If you are taking a short, direct flight, a charger with an under 5,000mAh rating should work. Because your phone rests all over when you travel, consider investing in a portable UV light sanitizer that help keep it clean. That UV light can kill everything from bacteria and fungi to viruses themselves, although no one is sure that it will kill the Covid-19 virus. UV light can get into the nooks and crannies and is much more effective than wipes. It works like a mini-tanning bed for your phone. While the airlines often provide earphones, it is not as hygienic as bringing a comfortable pair from home. If you want to watch movies, bring headphones that can plug into the screen. Finally, consider bringing along a neck pillow. Choose one that provides a removable, washable cover. Once you reach your destination, toss the cover in the wash, so it will be ready for your next trip. Then, try to relax and enjoy your flight.

May 11, 2021