Legal Blog

Divorce Mediation from Both Sides: Understanding the Opposite Perspective

Any negotiation requires an assessment of what each party needs and wants. Divorce mediation is no exception. It is important to know what concerns are of priority to the other side, so that these issues can be addressed and resolved before the final divorce agreement. Understanding the perspective of your ex-spouse will go a long way in assuring that both parties feel their interests are being best served by the divorce outcome.

Fear is often a factor on both sides of the divorce equation, especially when children are involved. In most divorces, both parents will be concerned about:

  • money;
  • their time and relationship with their child(ren);
  • public perception of who is at fault;
  • what is considered from both sides;
  • their financial future, including retirement;
  • what happens to the family home; and
  • the division of bills.

In addition, here are a few things to consider from your ex-spouse’s perspective that will aid in reaching an amicable resolution:

The Dependent Spouse’s Perspective. An economically-dependent spouse may worry about money. Will there be enough after the dissolution of the marriage? Will I have to return to the workforce? If one spouse has been away from the job market for a lengthy amount of time, especially to care for a child or family member, finding employment will be a major concern.

The Custodial Parent’s Perspective. A parent who has physical custody of his/her child may be looking at the divorce through the following lenses:

  • How will I find adequate and affordable daycare?
  • Will there be enough money to cover the overall care of the child?
  • Where will we live?
  • Will I be able to take time off from work to care for a sick child or to accommodate my child’s schedule?
  • How involved will my ex-spouse be with our child’s activities?

The Noncustodial Parent’s Perspective. On the other hand, the noncustodial parent may be concerned with the following:

  • How much child support will I be required to pay?
  • What will the access schedule look like?
  • How do I stay involved with my child’s school work and activities when he/she doesn’t live with me?
  • Will my ex-spouse work to foster my relationship with our child(ren) or try to turn my child against me?

Understanding the perspectives of one another should be a top priority during a mediation.  You also will both need to consider whether you have enough resources for a fight; the benefits that come out of a settlement; and what happens to your relationship if you are unable to settle. Linda Sorg Ostovitz of Offit Kurman is a family law professional who understands the importance of negotiation.  Contact Linda Sorg Ostovitz at or telephone (301) 575-0381 to schedule a consultation.



If you are considering divorce and need the assistance of an experienced lawyer to help you work through some of these issues, then please contact Linda Sorg Ostovitz at or 301-575-0381.




Linda Sorg Ostovitz is a family law attorney. Her legal experience spans more than 34 years. In this time, she has served as a leader, educator and advocate. Mrs. Ostovitz holds a prestigious fellowship in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Currently, she serves as President for the Business Women’s Network of Howard County, by which she was chosen Woman of Distinction for 2014. Mrs. Ostovitz represents clients in Howard, Anne Arundel, Carroll and Baltimore Counties. Her practice focuses exclusively on divorce litigation and mediation, child custody and access, child support, alimony, business valuation, as well as property and asset distribution. In addition to providing legal representation in court, Mrs. Ostovitz provides mediation services to help families come to a fair and legally-sound conclusion outside of the traditional court proceedings.






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