Legal Blog
Help Your Child Successfully Transition Between Homes
Advance Planning
Discussing where your child will be and when is not only essential to both parents but vitally important to your child. Having a schedule will let your child know what to expect and reduce his/her anxiety.
It is a good idea for both parents to talk about special events well in advance. Discussing which activities your child is involved with, as well as establishing a consistent set of house rules, will put everyone on the same page and reduce the potential for misunderstandings. No two parties parent exactly the same way, but the more consistency the better.
Encourage your child by talking optimistically about the upcoming transition and the time to be spent with his/her other parent. If necessary, be sure that your child is able to communicate with his/her other parent throughout the process.
Preparation
Parents should work together to ensure that their child has what he/she needs at both locations, instead of having to pack a big bag full of essentials for each visit. Make sure that both homes are well-stocked with toothbrushes, soaps, shampoos, and other personal toiletries. If your child keeps clothing at both places, there will be less to pack. Make sure that you have toys and other familiar items that make your home special to your child.
Though packing will be light, try not to start immediately before your child is scheduled to leave. This could conjure feelings of anxiety or make your child feel rushed. Instead, turn packing into a special ritual that you do together. Make a game out of it or play music to help ease your child into leaving.
The Drop-Off
You may need to choose a neutral location, such as a school or other public place if your child is having a hard time leaving the other parent or if you do not get along with your ex-spouse. Dropping off your child instead of picking him/her up allows each parent to take the child to the desired “drop off point” and say good-bye in a pleasant and relaxed way. If you pick them up, it can feel like you are taking them away from their other parent. When they return to your home, have their other parent drop them off as well. Be punctual, and do not use this time to argue about an issue that you have with your ex-spouse. An even better scenario may be to have pick-up and drop-off directly at school or daycare, which makes the transition even easier as the parties aren’t involved at all.
Transition Time
Transitioning from one house to another can be tricky, so be sure to allow your child to have a little space when he/she returns to your house. Encourage your ex-spouse to do the same.
During the school week, have as few transitions as possible and allow your child to focus on school and extra-curricular activities that he/she enjoys. Make sure that homework or school projects are completed before the transition occurs.
Find a Routine
It may take some time, but find a routine that works and stick with it. Children thrive on routine and because divorce can be fraught with uncertainty, establishing a routine will give your child a sense of normalcy. Both you and your spouse should have special things that you do with your child. Continue to do those activities and make your time together special.
Sharing your children is often seen as the worst part of a divorce. It can be just as hard for your children as it is for you. Having a positive relationship with your ex-spouse, and discussing your plans with your child, makes things a little easier on everyone. By having two houses stocked, and packing in advance, your child will feel secure, no matter which home he/she is in. After a time, you will all settle into a routine and find balance.
If you are considering divorce and need the assistance of an experienced lawyer to help you work through some of these issues, then please contact Linda Sorg Ostovitz at lostovitz@offitkurman.com or 301-575-0381.
ABOUT LINDA SORG OSTOVITZ
ABOUT OFFIT KURMAN
Offit Kurman is one of the fastest-growing, full-service law firms in the Mid-Atlantic region. With over 135 attorneys offering a comprehensive range of services in virtually every legal category, the firm is well positioned to meet the needs of dynamic businesses and the people who own and operate them. Our eleven offices serve individual and corporate clients in the Virginia, Washington, DC, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York City. At Offit Kurman, we are our clients’ most trusted legal advisors, professionals who help maximize and protect business value and personal wealth. In every interaction, we consistently maintain our clients’ confidence by remaining focused on furthering their objectives and achieving their goals in an efficient manner. Trust, knowledge, confidence—in a partner, that’s perfect.
You can connect with Offit Kurman via our Blog, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, YouTube, and LinkedIn pages. You can also sign up to receive Law Matters, Offit Kurman’s monthly newsletter covering a diverse selection of legal and corporate thought leadership content.
MARYLAND | PENNSYLVANIA | VIRGINIA| NEW JERSEY | NEW YORK | DELAWARE | WASHINGTON, DC